Script For Thriller Opening

Below is our script for our thriller opening:

(Detective on the phone to chief inspector)
Detective: Pursuing suspect Dominic Christopher, case 167. I know, I wont mess this up. (Credit sequence appear. Voice over) Trust me.

(detective moves teddy from dashboard, triggers flashback. Alice appears in the seat next to him)
Alice: Dad, dad. Come on we'll be late for school. (credit sequence appear. Voice over) Whats wrong?

Detective: I have him in my sights. In pursuit of victim now. (credit sequence appear. Voice over) He's mine. (gets out of car)

Detective: (While pursuing Dominic) Dominic, stop!

(Grace and Ruby Jones walk past detective, holding hands. Ques second flashback)
Detective: Alice, listen. Just be careful. (Kneels down)
Alice: I'll be fine. (Voice over) You worry far too much.

(Detective runs around the corner. Dominic is no where to be seen)
Detective: (On the phone) I've lost him. He's gone. (Voice over. Title appears) I'm sorry I let you down.